I know we are 11 days in but still this year feels brand new… and like it is rapidly evaporating all at once. I am excited for it holds and hope to look back on December 31st with a sense of achievement.
I started this year with a bang. I submitted my grad school application against all odds and that made me feel proud.
But disappointment also peaked its head since the portfolio I submitted was lacking. For the past few days I found myself in an ambivalent state feeling proud and disappointed all at once. I keep repeating to myself there will be next year. I will apply then, take my time and all will be well. But the truth is I wanted it to be this year, not the next. I felt ready for film school. I wanted to get on with it. And I also wanted to punch myself for narrowing my already narrow chances.
However there is nothing I could do about what I have already done and quitting is not an appealing option.
So, here I am at the beginning of 2015 and trying to find a way to make it worthwhile. To prep for the year ahead but not let this one leave me without taking in all of its wonders. I will do my best to fill it with openness to what life holds, adventure, laughter and hard work.
Cheers to 2015!